He got the job!

Thank god. I don't know how he does it, but I am so relieved. My job is not going to cover hardly anything! I am only working 2 days next week, and still no sign of my 401k check. Apparently it's in the mail...

I'm using my time to learn how to use Dreamweaver. (Something I've been meaning to do for a long time.) I found these tutorials, which I really like http://tv.adobe.com/watch/classroom-basic-site-layout-and-navigation-in-dreamweaver-cs5/part-06-changing-visual-properties-of-html-content/

I've also added a bit more onto my portfolio and created a new business Facebook page. I need to start to find photography clients soon! I can't believe how scary it is to not have any money. Not that I ever had much before, but I haven't had a dime in weeks now, and I can't get by like this for much longer.

I think Minnesota will eventually work out for us, but I've got to say, I really wish I were chillin on a beach right now. Someday. Someday ;)

It's funny how things work out...

It seems like life has a devious sense of humor sometimes. I never get what I need until I reach my ULTIMATE breaking point! Since my 2 am breakdown (last post) I've received four responses from my applications (! :)  that I've been relentlessly sending out since I've got here. All of them are directly related to my field. This has never happened before. And it's a good thing :)


My BF also has an interview tomorrow, which is soo awesome, because his dipsh*t employers hired him when they have no work! He also makes more than me (for now) and this position will also have benefits, that we can both benefit from.


As I write this he is sleeping on the floor like a chalk outline. He's been doing this lately, and I don't know why. Sometimes one has to work things out in their own ways... I've been there many times. I'm tempted to take a photo, but never want the retribution on his part! So just trust me.


I have an interview tomorrow that I have mixed feelings about. The pay is equal to what I was making before, which basically gives me a raise around here, and the employer and position seem very cool! I'm very excited :) but the company is very new, and I would typically want more stability in a company before I say YES I'm in! I signed the paperwork at a new position today, that is very stable, with room for growth,  but very much like my old position. Am I holding myself back?....

A new kind of anxiety

I can't sleep.


Still no check, and no job. I have a fear that I may soon be homeless. I had another interview today, but it's only part time so I still would need to get something else going in order to get ahead.


My BF and I watched a show on China recently about a village where they don't use cars. Instead, they use zip-lines to get around. How cool would that be?! I could live there, and pick rice for a living. I don't have health insurance anyways, so I might as well take my chances...


Anything but this. I feel I am going to die of stress and anxiety! :( I just seem to never do the right things. Why do I always make the wrong choices? (Seriously. WTF.)


I wish I could find my place in this world. I am so jealous of people who have a hometown.


All I want is for life to just be a LITTLE BIT easier. Is that too much to ask??


I try to do the right things. I am always nice. I try to be useful. I try to care, and to love, and to be everything I was raised to believe I should be, and for what?


I don't know how much longer I can keep believing that I will be O.K.

*sigh*

All I can do is do my best to be in control of what I can.


Tomorrow I will go to the gym, and try to make my ample free time a time for self-improvement. I can also work on my digital portfolio, which I began earlier tonight (a retouching experiment) and maybe someday get the job of my dreams.


Lately I've been reading a blog called "Oh She Glows" and it's really motivating me to get off my ass and get in shape. Yeah, it's a lot of work but I know it will be worth it.


I may be poor, but at least I can be hot, right? ;)